Crown Remedy

by Scharling

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All sounds by Scharling.

Additional audio and creative input by Andris Balins.

Chris Scharling played an Epiphone Les Paul LP-100 (2006-2010, RIP), Seagull S-6 acoustic guitar, and Alvarez acoustic guitar.

Chris Laurenzo played an American Standard Telecaster and Seagull S-6 acoustic guitar.

Phil Montelone played a Fender Jazz bass.

Lawrence Basso played Gretsch drums as well as Paiste, Zildjian, and Sabian cymbals.

All synths, pianos, and organs by Propellerheads Reason 4.

Keep up with us online at:

Extra special thanks to Dan Dinsmore, Christian Portwine, and Kyle Johnson.

Thank you to our wonderful family and friends. Without you, we still would have made this album, but with much less amusement, encouragement, alcohol, bruising, and tomatoes.


released May 5, 2011

All songs copyright Scharling, 2005, 2011.



all rights reserved


Scharling Albany, New York

Sinking ships, outlaws, mall cops, and wildfires: a brief sampling of the subjects one will find rubbing elbows with the pounding drums, frenetic guitars, and haunting harmonies in Scharling's eclectic catalog of songs. Featured in Guitar Hero and, Scharling's blend of rock, funk, alt-folk, and punk has helped them gain recognition and accolade in an unstable music industry. ... more

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Track Name: Steal The Sun
I had to learn to sew with my eyes closed
I learned to walk with the help of a garden hose
I learned to snipe with the help of a broken scope
You write your name on paper
I write mine in the snow

Let's steal the sun

I feel the wind blow and I hear the moon sink low
I smell the winds of change coming with a bloody broken nose
Some time down the road I'll go with the flow
Some time down the road I'll go with the flow

Let's steal the sun
Track Name: Black Cats
I'm falling behind
I'm losing my mind
I spend all of my days
Watching the sun shine
I'm burning a candle
At both ends
Fascinated by the fire
Waiting for friends

You're crossing my path
You're getting in my way
If i was a black cat
This wouldn't be your day
You catch it on camera
You put it away
You save it all up
For some rainy day
To sling some mud into
An open wound
We play this game and
They all stay tuned
Some call it a game
Some call it a race
I got my position by favor
And I'm not losing my place

Keep the gates closed
Keep the peasants out
Keep the gates closed
And hold your ground
Track Name: Creative Differences
I left my mind in the corner to sit and think about what it had done
Musing on the confusing

Well I want to know where the crazy ones go...
Fly in a flying V or topple like dominoes?
I left my brain in el cerebro
I gotta get it
Got got to get it

I broke up with my brain over creative differences
Everyone wants to know what the big difference is
Whenever I'm alone, I know I'm not home
Make a habit to call myself collect on the phone
'Cause I've got me
And that's all I need
Spit into the clouds
To sew my wild seeds.

Psychosomatic schizophrenia
I think I know me
Or maybe I'm a friend of ya
Enemy enema
Ritalin Emma
Measure the entropy
And I'll get back to ya

Rifle me
Riddle me
Rattle me
Baffle me
Shiver me
Shatter me
What a catastrophe
No need for apostrophes
I learned from my english teach

(This is the part where i use the parenthesis)

Better better bet that you're better than the rest
When you take the taxing test
Flying leap from the nest
Fake the falling
Flying fast
Pay the toll
Make it last
Memorize this moment in your mind
Rewind it, play it back.
Track Name: Lawman
Well I'm going down the highway
Doin' 'bout ninety
I left my woman behind me
I hope she never finds me
'Cause I'm going to the land
Where the wind don't blow
Goin' wherever that river flows

And I ain't got nothing to hide from you.

Well I guess that I thought I
Could leave my troubles behind me
The man's trying hard to find me
Back in mississippi
So I'm headed down low, but I
Ain't going slow
Away from my home where the
Blue grass grows

And I ain't got nothing to hide from you.

Well I guess it all started right
After I jumped the fence. I had
To get on the move, 'cause I killed
A man in self defense. So now I'm
On the run from old death row.
Old man law wants me six feet below.

And I ain't got nothing to hide from you.

Running all around
If he catch me
He puts me underground

Well old man law, he finally caught
Up with me. I had to act real fast
Or I'd be pushing up daisies. so I
Grabbed my gun and I busted some
Rounds. Now all of his pals all
Follow me around.

And I ain't got nothing to hide from them,

'Cause I ain't got nothing to hide from you.

No, I ain't got nothing to hide.

i ain't got nothing to hide.
Track Name: Everything You Wanted It To Be
The anticipation of things to
Come used to overwhelm me.
But now I've grown up.
The things I expect, I don't look
Forward to anymore.
And waves of disappointment are
All I can see from these shores.

Nothing's going to be everything you wanted
It to be. Don't let it bring you down,
Just know what to expect when it comes around.

Regrets will take you, and they will
Make you everything you always said
You'd never become.
The good times aren't gone. You've
Just gotta know where to look for them.
Take that with as many grains of salt
As you want.

Nothing's going to be everything you wanted
It to be. Don't let it bring you down,
Just know what to expect when it comes around.

Your regrets will take you, they'll try to break you.
They'll keep you where you are.

So sorry i couldn't be everything you wanted me to be.
Track Name: Fuzzy Dice & Neon Headlights
All the freaks come out at night
I sent my resignation to the
Broom-handle messiah.
I've got no time for pamphlets
And post cards.
Cruise control
I ain't no coast guard.

There's a chrysalis in my pocket,
And the worm's about to hatch.
The dogs are at the door,
And the key is in the latch.
This could go any way.
Right now I just don't know.
It's not up for me to say
Which way it'll go.

Fuzzy dice &
Neon headlights
I sold my soul,
So now my shoes don't fit right.
I'd get it back, but I've got no
motivation. I'm on the road to

It's that ninety-ninth
"Tomorrow I'll do it."
I'd give you my word,
But you'd see right through it.
I've got no money,
Got no soul,
And I've got no hope.
Strung out as can be,
Hanging out at the
End of my rope.
Track Name: Garden Drive
I'm throwing stones today
I'm picking up a new hobby
Got no time for sleeping in late
I've got important things to do today
I’ve got a dog
Her name is Sam
I've got the world
In the palm of my hands.
I've got the sunshine
I've got a trike.
I might learn to
Ride my bike.
I might learn something new.
I'd like to spend my day with you.
That's the way it's supposed to go
Don't leave me out or i might go psycho

i don't wanna be left out.
Don’t leave me out,
Or I might kill someone

I'm taking pills today.
I've got a job, I’ve got bills to pay
I've got migraines all the time.
I've got a life that I wish was mine.
I’ve got no time for sleeping in late
i've got important things to do today
i've got a boss
He's got concerns
On medication for his heartburn
And he's bringing me down

I don't wanna be here anymore
I’ve gotta get out of here
Before I might kill someone

I'm swimming in the lake today
Shouldn’t quit my job, you say?
Got no time for sleeping in late
I've got important things to do today
I've got a girl
She loves me true
I've got a dog and a ferret to boot.
I've got love.
It's going good.
Just the way I knew it would.
Track Name: Advice For Granted
Don't live your life with your head buried in the sand
Don't live your life with your head full of demands
You don't have to take my words for it
You don't have to take my advice for granted
But don't come crawling back here.

Walk along the path to the
Conscious-decision-making-processing plant
Don't mind the cameras, it's just the government.
Sticks and stones may break your bones,
But your words may do you worse.
They'll cut them up, throw them around,
And put you in a hearse.
But don't come crawling back here.
Track Name: Head Above Water
My magic is gone
But I've still got reason
The fire's now nothing more
Than some ashes.
Great kings lie in this season.
You can't illuminate the world
With them matches.

Thieves are on the prowl for
Our hard earned pay while we
Rest from earning our keep.
The breakneck speed and the
Blur of the rat race
We hold our hands to the fire
For heat.

It can all seem like a waste of time.
Head above the water I'm blurring the lines.
What's yours is yours and what's mine is mine.
I paste on the smile, I'm doing fine.

Cradle to the grave, you'd better behave.
Stay in the lines and don't act out.
They tell you to reach for the brass ring,
"It's out of your league, but pantomime for us."
It doesn't mean a god damn thing.
At least we know who cares for us.

Try to keep afloat.
Track Name: Mild Mannered
9 months in the womb
Mama's hoping for a boon
I've been a long time coming
They wanna get me out soon
Well i guess everything didn't
Go according to plan, 'cause
When the doctor went to slap me,
I bit his hand.

I'm just
Your average
Ordinary mild mannered
Kind of guy

Growing up is tough when
You ain't got no friends. I'm
Talking to the walls, they think
I'm messed up in the head. Well
You'll all be sorry when I get
Big and bad. I'll be the
Meanest nightmare you never
Knew you had.

I'm just your
Mild mannered
Kind of guy

I'm living in a cave
'Cause I still can't behave
Broken bottles, bone sculptures,
& Pink lemonade
I'll be dancing in the fire
In the dead of the night
But don't you worry about me,
I'm doing alright
Track Name: Princess Sticky Fingers
Hey there sticky fingers!
Whatcha got?
If you're taking stuff to hock,
I'm calling the fucking cops.
I don't know what went wrong in
Your mind, but remember
Payback's a bitch, so watch
Your behind.

Hey there princess sticky fingers!
I haven't seen you in awhile, but
Your presence still lingers.
'Cause when I came through the door,
The only things that I had left
Were what I'd bolted to the floor.

You're not a clever thief.
You're not very bright.
You ain't no cat burglar
So take your skank-ass and pack up for good.
Go and case some other neighborhood.

La la la.
Track Name: Carlberg
Flashlight in my pocket,
Moving through the parking lot.
If trouble's what you're looking for, buddy
Then trouble is what I've got.
I've been on the job for fifteen
Long, long years.
I start every morning right
With a case of beer.

Well I think this world owes me a favor.
Some day you'll read about me in the paper.
A bad-ass vigilante with no holds barred.
For now I'm just a mall security guard.

I'm the king of the CB radio:
"Breaker one nine: Mission lunch break is a go."
I could snap at any minute.
Throw you punk fucking kids through that window.
I'm a man on a mission, and my heart pumps
Liquid fear.
I start every morning right
With a case of beer.

Greased black monkey mack
Sits back watching his marrow crack
While reality burns on MTV.
One hand in the back
Two eyeing the prize
Dreams of Joanie Laurer nude on dvd.
He says,
"There's a whistle in my pocket
And you know I'm gonna rock it,
If i had a gun I'd cock it, and we'd
Battle at the end of the day!
If you're a gambling man like
You know I am, I'd put my money
On me kicking some ass in a security way!"
Track Name: Under Control
These poison rotten people will destroy you
They'll run around and lie and do things
You wouldn't do
Maybe I'm one of them
You'll never know
Brain lockdown has got you under control

These poison rotten people will destroy you
They'll run amok and steal
And try things you wouldn't do
Maybe he's one of them
Who knows?
Push the button, you're under control

These poison rotten people will destroy you
They'll ruin your life, and then they'll try
To kill you.
Maybe she's one of them, I just don't know.
Look at you, you're under control.

There's poison rotten people all around you
And they're so glad that they've been able
To find you
You're one of them, I'm sure you know.
Nothing more to say.

We're under control.
Track Name: Yesterday's Broken Mirrors
I'm feeling out of touch with everything I used to feel,
but I don't miss it much at all.
as time goes by, I feel like I should be figuring out some things.

get me out of here. some things are becoming to clear.
yesterday's broken mirrors are looking at me.

Bad luck is only what you make of it.
Put a different spin on your world.
Bad days are made for sleeping in.
Well I think it's time to wake up.

Yesterday's broken mirrors are looking at me.
Yesterday's broken mirrors are looking up.